German? Russian? Slavic? Something from a Lewis Carroll Poem?

I'll be honest with you: I'm scared to buy this candy. Eating it isn't even an option. I feel that something this enigmatic should be kept in a basement or safe deposit box. The word "Zagnut" evokes a sense of dread. Even after 8 hours of serious research, I could not determine what company manufactures "Zagnut." Probably some shady sweatshop out of Eastern Indonesia.

Supposedly, Zagnut is a conglomerate of peanut butter and coconut. How odd! I thought that possessing white/dark chocolate was a pre-requisite to being considered a candy bar. The pictures you will find online are not even remotely appealing.

The wrapper is red (like blood), and has bright yellow lettering (like the hammer and sickle of the communist flag). It looks frightening. Undoubtedly, this candy bar is selling. Why would it even be available if it weren't? There are just too many uncertainties surrounding this candy, which gives it a very high "silliness factor." If you eat this stuff, you're liable to become silly as well, and we definitely wouldn't want that!

Take a little time to protect yourself from silly snacks.

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*Please note: This page is complete nonsense, and is not intended in any way to be a nutritional guide*

*It is not intended to be anything, really. It is a big fat bunch of lies; organized incoherently.*

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