- Ruthsarian :
- Silly Snacks :
- Serious Snacks :
- Haiku :
- Tongue Twisters :
- Featured Artist :
- Flowchart :
- Hurricane Preparedness :
- Blatant Lies :
Runts? Midgets? Dwarfs? Elves? White Cracker? Honkee?: All are funny, yet offensive.
This candy alone is liable to set the civil rights movement back 50 years. What a condescending, abhorrent, and downright unconscionable name for our childrens' candy! It's like Hitler or Andrew Dice Clay named these innocent little fruit snacks.
In a cheap effort to make these little guys seem accepted and appreciated, Wonka Candy puts all the individual flavors in a seemingly tropical setting. Venice Beach, perhaps. In the world of the Runts, the banana twins wear cool shades and do a little sidewalk surfing. The orange and strawberry do a bit of rappelling, and the lemon goes figure skating. Last you have your cherry: a brave little fruit with a thirst for adventure; he does the body boarding.
Gag me with a spoon. These are fruits that possess a diminutive stature, and we have warped them to suit our purpose. They never had a chance. I fully support a movement to liberate these ill-treated little fellows. We could bring in Al Sharpton and Louis Farrakhan and have them throw a stink in front of the Capitol. Goodness knows that typically accomplishes a lot.
