Don't be fooled by Powerade's easy accesiblilty

Drinking Powerade will fill your bloodstream with pure electricity. Antifreeze. Powerade is like a low-viscosity synthetic motor oil for your weary limbs.

You can determine with great accuracy what you're in for if you buy a Powerade. If you cannot read plain English, don't worry. Powerade comes in 29 different flavors. (Think I'm bluffing? Read for yourself here.) Just as classical Chinese music is often very impressionistic, so is Powerade. Why? You get to choose from a plethora of vibrant Powerade colors, and each is a perfect representation of it's particular flavor:

• Mountain blast: Blue in color. Extends into the blue of the sky like a giant mountain. You could climb the mountain if you drink this drink. Be forewarned: This sh*t will freeze your esophagus from top to bottom.
• Lemon-lime: Man. The yellow color is very fitting. Yellow like the sun. Yellow like the bruises you'll get from wrestling the cap off of this bad mamma-jamma. When you drink it you'll turn yellow with anxiety.
• Fruit punch: Don't mess with Texas? Yeah right...don't mess with this flippin' fruit punch. It'll punch you in the mouth so hard yo momma feels it. It's red..so you can expect a burn.

Are you hardcore? Grab a Powerade. It has stuff in it like: juice, water, electrolytes, vitamins, minerals, food coloring, and LOTS MORE. You'll love it.

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*Please note: This page is complete nonsense, and is not intended in any way to be a nutritional guide*

*It is not intended to be anything, really. It is a big fat bunch of lies; organized incoherently.*

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