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Granola will keep your intestines cleaner than the inside of a bleach bottle
Nobody knows granola like I do. I guarantee it. I actually worked for a few summers during middle school on a granola farm. What an unbelievable operation. Everything was intense on the granola farm. The raisin peelers, wheat smashers, and syrup boilers were equally amazing and frightening.
Granola is made of precisely twelve ingredients: Raisins, granola, wheat, flour, oats, sawgrass, gluten, craisins, molasses, almonds, apples, and plenty of roughage.* To make granola, you get all of these ingredients, (in a ratio that goes something like this: 12%-5%-1%-17%-20%-4.5%-20%-9%-30.5%-2%-14%-15%) and grind them in a giant morter and pestle. I already know what your thinking: "Dude! That's 150% total! That's impossible!?!?" Well, no...it isn't. Sometimes you have to go intense. Setting the bar a little too high can set you up for tremendous success.
Let me tell you something: you will experience success the moment you take a bite of this ambrosia. This is nectar of the gods. But be careful. Eating more than 1/2 a cup of this stuff will clean your colon out faster than a black bean burrito at your local taqueria!
