- Ruthsarian :
- Silly Snacks :
- Serious Snacks :
- Haiku :
- Tongue Twisters :
- Featured Artist :
- Flowchart :
- Hurricane Preparedness :
- Blatant Lies :
Diagram 2.1
Fun Dip instills horrible habits in our children.
A little background: Nestlé owns The Willy Wonka Candy Company. The Willy Wonka Candy Company makes Fun Dip. Fun Dip will erode your bowels. Therefore, Nestlé is doomed to failure. You see, the act of eating Fun Dip is barbaric and involves:
(A) your child moistening an abrasive sugar stick with their own saliva. (B) your child dredging the stick through a pouch filled with acidic sugar - in hopes that the sugar will cling to the stick. (C) your child licking the sugary paste from the stick. (D) your child's tongue bleeding profusely and swelling 4 times it's normal size.* (see diagram 2.1)
Let's be real, shall we? This stuff is insanely inappropriate for anyone to consume. You might as well give your kid the sugar bowl and a strip of sandpaper. Sure - our kids like to have fun. Fun is good! Adults enjoy having fun, too! But what is so freakin' fun about this stuff? Is this stuff more fun than a lollipop? Or a ham sandwich? I don't think so.
I'll tell you what's fun: Wake up at 6:00am. Take a brisk 5 mile run, and then do 45 minutes of intense weight training. Maybe static contractions or a bunch of super-sets. THEN, you eat: 3 eggs, 2 pieces of whole wheat toast, a tall glass of reverse-osmosis water, & a protein shake. That is fun.
