- Ruthsarian :
- Silly Snacks :
- Serious Snacks :
- Haiku :
- Tongue Twisters :
- Featured Artist :
- Flowchart :
- Hurricane Preparedness :
- Blatant Lies :
Ding Dong? The witch is dead! Which old witch? The snack cake witch...
...from eating these execrable calorie bombs.
Ding-dongs are terrible. Unhealthy. They are a formidable opponent to the process of peristalsis. What healthful constituents lie within the ding dong? None whatsoever. It would be more healthful for you to snort crushed moth balls than actually eat a dingdong. The mere smell of a ding-dong is enough to make a person retch.
The sad fact is that Americans are crazy about the proverbial "gooey center." It doesn't matter what sort of food. We put fillings in popsicles, doughnuts, gum, and even pizza crust for goodness sake. We fill ice cream with little chocolate footballs that are filled with caramel. We sell WAX BOTTLES filled with sugar water for our kids to suck down before math class. We are crazy about composite comestibles. If you think I'm crazy, look at what we do to eggs!!! They are a naturally occurring composite food (white + yolk), yet we boil them, remove the yolk, and RE-STUFF the mo-fos. Then we give them a SATANIC NAME!!!! DEVILED EGGS! AAAAAHhhhhhh!
It seems obvious to me that simplicity could mean SUICIDE for any cheap, pre-fabricated food manufacturer.
Do yourself a favor. For better overall health, only eat a food if you can pronounce all of the ingredients listed in it's nutritional information. Otherwise, your intestinal walls will look like they witnessed the Exxon-Valdez disaster firsthand.
