- Ruthsarian :
- Intro/Facts :
- Interviews :
- Mulch Poems :
- Mulch Fire Bumper Stickers :
- Cows :
- What is Fire? :
- Contact :
- Chuck Norris: The Solution :
- Mulching Links :
The Mulch Fire Cows
These poor cows are being screwed over, and can't do a darn thing about it. They are being forced to graze in the same field as the smoking mulch volcano. Do you think that they enjoy this? Why are we relocating people, and NOT animals?? This is rubbish. They deserve fresh grass, wide open spaces, and clean air. Instead, we force them to endure this hellish mound of soot and smoke! This is unconscionable.
Perhaps the intent is to expose them to the fire so that they may suffocate and turn to jerky. If so, I can think of many other foods that should be in that field. Tofu, chipotle peppers, and cheddar cheese are just a few foods that we could be smoking in large quantities - and very efficiently!!! What egregious misuse of our gentle community inferno!
There are actually a multitude ways we could be using the Helotes mulch fire to our advantage. We could construct a large steam engine over the fire; allowing us to extract energy from the conflagration. We could have the worlds largest barbecue with an absolute minimum of effort. Have you stopped to think how great this smoke actually is? It's repelling all the insects within a 500 mile radius! We have 1.4 million residents in San Antonio, and not ONE of us has had a mosquito bite in over a month! That's AWESOME!
Lastly, consider the issue of secondhand smoke. It's horrible for you. Fortunately, the mulch fire is giving everyone pure, unfiltered FIRSTHAND smoke...no danger in that! There are truly a lot of good things coming out of the fire.