- Ruthsarian :
- Silly Snacks :
- Serious Snacks :
- Haiku :
- Tongue Twisters :
- Rock, Paper, Etc! :
- Make your own flowchart :
- Hurricane Preparedness :
- Blatant Lies :
"Stick 'em up!" laughs Jong-Il. Mr. Cheney seems bemused.
Wake up at 3:30am. Brew up a thermos of piping hot joe. Pack a couple of sandwiches. Load your shotguns. It's time to go huntin'. For what? Maybe deer. Maybe Pheasant. Maybe Manatees. Who the hell cares? KILL KILL KILL!
Kim Jong-Il lives for these biannual expeditions into the Texas bush. He started his hunting tradition in 1994 with a weekend visit to a white tail hunting camp just west of Austin. He ended up bagging 3 squirrels, 2 woodpeckers, and a cat; he's never been the same. "During that trip, I got the hiccups real bad," commented Jong-Il. "I tried drinking moonshine, and it really didn't agree with me. I was wandering around for about two hours with these awful hiccups when Dick Cheney came up behind me quietly and fired a 12 guage within 2 feet of my head. I'll tell you what, that was the scariest damn thing that's ever happened to me - but it darn sure took my hiccups away!"
Kim Jong-Il took to hunting like a duck to water. He turned out to be a natural marksman, with a keen eye in differentiating the feral from the indigenous. He has taken great delight in his hunting lessons with Vice President Cheney. He's learned a lot about safe camping techniques, (e.g.-keeping a propane tank in your tent) and views his latent hunting skills as a way to better protect the one animal in this world that is fit to live: the meerkat. There is a good reason that North Korea has the highest percentage of its citizens enlisted. They are hellbent on preventing any Martial Eagles, Jackals, or Cobras from entering their country; a few of the meerkat's natural predators. North Korea is a haven for meerkats.
